


Birthdays

by hazzard



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst angst angst angst, Did I Mention, F/M, don't be fooled by the cutesy description this gonna hurt like a motherfucker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-29
Updated: 2017-05-29
Packaged: 2018-11-06 14:51:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11038440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hazzard/pseuds/hazzard
Summary: In which Phil surprises Melinda with donuts.





	Birthdays

She woke up in a bed, tangled in white sheets, looking at the ceiling and searched for a difference within. She should feel different, after all. Waking up today should feel different than waking up yesterday had felt like.

She sat up and reached for the glass with water on the nightstand beside her. The water was cold and felt refreshing running down her throat. Once the glass was empty, she put it down again. She took off the blanket and moved her legs over the edge. The fuzzy mat felt nice under her feet. She smiled to herself. Andrew had come home with that mat a couple of weeks ago after she’d complained that the floor was so cold. She stood up, stretching her arms and thought about how much she missed him. Especially today.

There was a ring at the door.

She drew her eyebrows together in confusion and glanced at the clock above the bedroom door. Yup, only a little past eight. On a _Sunday._

The doorbell kept ringing. _Yeah, yeah, I’m coming_ , she thought and hurried through the corridor.

When she opened the door and saw who was behind it, she wasn’t surprised. She should’ve known.

She leaned against the door frame, arms crossed and a smirk on her face. “Well hello, Coulson.”

Phil was carrying a big, white box, a wrapped present and some flowers. He actively looked at only her face and seemed a little flushed. She wondered why, until she realized she was only wearing one of Andrew’s white shirts. She pulled it down a little, very nonchalantly, (she hoped) and tried not to focus on the fact that the only thing she was wearing underneath was a pair of black strings.

He reached out the flowers to her and he smiled, (one of those dorky Phil smiles) and her heart stung. She hadn’t even realized just how much she’d missed him until just now. Shit, shit, _shit_ , she’d missed him so damn much.

She took the flowers. Yellow tulips. Like the one’s her mother used to have in her garden. It was so thoughtful, so sweet, she had trouble not throwing them on the pavement and rushing into his arms. Instead she smiled and smelled the flowers. “Thank you.”

He smiled back. “Happy birthday, Melinda.”

She’d missed him so, so much.

“You remembered. You never remember anything.” He really didn’t. She was practically his walking calendar.

He slightly tilted his head. “How could I ever forget your birthday?” All of a sudden, there was a serious gloss over his eyes and his voice lowered. “How could I ever forget _you?_ ”

Her heart clenched at that and she made some room in the doorway. “You coming in or what?”

He immediately walked up the stairs and joined her side. She sent a pointed glance at the big, white box. “That better be donuts. You owe me that after waking me up before 8am on a Sunday.” He smirked at her. “Yeah, it is. But don’t you try to guilt me. We both know you were up already.” She playfully hit his arm and rolled her eyes. “Just get in, will you.” He bowed. “Yes, Ma’am.” She turned her head and watched him take of his shoes and carefully placing them at the side, putting her present on the table under the mirror and making his way into the kitchen, unbuttoning and rolling up his sleeves. 

She’d missed him so, so, so much.

She went to the mirror and picked up the present. It was wrapped in red wrapping paper and had a little silver bow on it. It looked fine from the front, but the back was a mess of paper and tape. He’d wrapped it himself, apparently. Her body warmed at the thought of him sitting at his kitchen table, cursing over the tape getting stuck to his hands. Fuck, how much she lo-

She stopped herself. _Don’t go there. You promised yourself you’d **never** go there again._

She began to tear up the paper. She knew he’d left it for her to open alone because she hated being the focus of attention in that way. He was so respectful and kind, it was sometimes annoying.

When she’d torn away all of the wrapping paper and opened the box it’d been hiding, she almost felt tears building up in the corner of her eyes. It was her grandma’s favorite tea, the kind that she’d drank every every time she’d visited China as a little girl, the kind that could only be bought locally. 

Fuck. He made it so damn difficult not to go there.

 

When she stepped into the kitchen, after changing into a pair of black jeans and a grey t-shirt, he’d already the table and the teapot was on the stove.

She stopped at the door and just looked at him. He was in the process of making pancakes and absentmindedly whistled ‘Dock of the Bay.’ She could so very easily get used to this. It was so terribly dangerous to have him here.

He looked up from the stove, and the smile he gave her as he spotted her there was terribly dangerous, too.

“You’re making pancakes.”

He shrugged. “Well, I had some making up to do, didn’t I?”

Her smile faded and she grew serious again. “The present...” She couldn’t look right at him and slightly avoided his eyes. “ _Thank you._ ”

He looked at her and blinked. _You’re welcome._

He pulled out a chair. “So, you want pancakes or donuts first?

“Donuts” she answered, gratefully sitting down at the table.

 

They were in the middle of eating and talking about past missions, when he put down his fork. “So, how’s Andrew?”

She stilled in her movements, sitting up straighter. “He’s at a conference in Australia. He’s in his element. But…” She took a breath. “I miss him.”

Phil nodded. “Have you told him?” He shifted, suddenly a little uncomfortable in his chair. “I mean, does he know about the ba-”

She quickly shook her head. “I don’t want to tell him until he’s back.” She could’ve called him. But they’d lost their happiness before, and she’d just found out. _Nothing_ was sure yet.

“You’re gonna be an amazing mom.”

He sounded and looked so sincere, like he didn’t doubt that for a second. He’d always believed in her. He’d always believed she had light and love inside her. 

She drew her hands together in her lap and stared into her plate. “I’m… I’m not so sure I’ll be able to…” She looked up at him, and she felt her eyes water. “I couldn’t save her, Phil, I couldn’t save the girl and I-”

He leaned over the table and put his hand on hers. “ _Listen to me._ You’re gonna be the best mom there is. No one is gonna love as intensely or take better care of that kid than you.”

Her voice quivered and it felt like her whole body was shaking. “How do you know that? How can you be so sure after what I’ve-”

He was stroking her hand now. “Because I do. Because I know _you.”_

She cried into her pancakes. She looked at him again. “Phil, I’m just so scared, I’m so, so scared and I-” Her words drowned in her sobs.

She heard a chair move and suddenly he was beside her, squatting by her side, stroking her arm. “I know, I know. It’ll be ok, it’ll all be…” 

She melted down onto the floor and grabbed him, pulling him closer, leaning her head on his chest. He put his arms around her and placed a soft kiss in her hair. This was so terribly dangerous. But right now his heart was beating calmly and he smelled like he always did, and she just didn’t care.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> sorry for the angst. I'm horrible, what can I say.
> 
> as always: I love you and I love comments/kudos too.
> 
> aaaaall my love and a lot of hugs xx


End file.
